From Scent-Free Policies to Scented Candles: Why I’m Building My Own Freedom
If you've ever had someone complain about your lunch in the break room or been told your peppermint oil is "too strong for the office," you're not alone. For many of us—especially as first responders or women working in rigid, high-stress environments—the daily grind comes with unspoken rules and micromanaged routines that chip away at our sense of freedom.
I’ve been there. Still am, in some ways. But I’m working on something bigger. And it starts with one free day a week.
The Reality of Living By Someone Else’s Rules
In my current job, I follow policies designed to “keep the peace”—but they often sacrifice comfort, individuality, and joy in the process. Whether it’s being told what scents are acceptable, what foods are too “smelly,” or when we’re allowed to take breaks, the rules are everywhere. And while I understand the need for structure (especially in emergency services), it doesn’t mean it feels good to be constantly monitored or judged for the little things that make us feel like ourselves.
For example, I once heated up my leftover butter chicken and got a passive-aggressive sticky note on the microwave. I’ve been told my favorite essential oil is “disruptive.” And don't even get me started on wearing anything scented to shift. The level of control can feel suffocating.
But here’s the thing: we weren’t made just to follow rules. We were made to lead, to grow, to thrive.
My Friday Freedom: A Taste of What’s Possible
Right now, Fridays are mine. Just one day a week that I’ve carved out to focus on my business—a space where I don’t have to ask permission to eat what I want, wear what I love, or create how I feel called to. On Fridays, my home becomes my office. The candle is lit. My coffee is hot, and the energy is different.
I’m not all the way there yet—but I’m building it.
And what I’m building isn’t just a business. It’s a lifestyle that prioritizes:
Freedom over restriction
Purpose over policies
Health over burnout
As a mom, a shift worker, and someone who’s walked through burnout myself, I know how hard it is to put yourself first. We give so much of ourselves to everyone else—our partners, our kids, our colleagues—that by the end of the day, there’s barely anything left in the tank.
But these Fridays remind me: I can create a life on my terms. I can help other women—especially first responders or wives of those who serve—learn how to balance their health, their goals, and their freedom, one small choice at a time.
If you’re not quite sure where to start, know this: you don’t have to quit your job to begin building a life that feels better. Start with one small pocket of time each week that’s just for you. Whether it’s a walk, journaling, working out, or planning out that business idea that’s been sitting in your Notes app for months—you’re allowed to take up space. You're allowed to dream bigger.
You Don’t Need Permission to Create a Life You Love
There’s something deeply rebellious and healing about doing things just because they bring you joy. For me, it’s:
Lighting that candle that would get me reported at work
Eating meals I actually enjoy, without apology
Coaching and connecting with other women who want more than survival
And when I say more, I don’t mean more hustle. I mean more intention, more alignment, and more balance.
Because for many of us—especially women in uniform or married to someone who is—our lives have revolved around unpredictable shifts, emotional weight, and survival mode. But we weren't meant to stay stuck in burnout forever. There’s power in learning how to reconnect to your own goals, your own health, and your own voice.
That’s the work I get to do with the incredible women in my community. And if you’re reading this, maybe you’re one of them. You can connect with me and others like you over on Instagram where I share tips, stories, and encouragement for first responder women ready to take their power back.
If you need help figuring out how to balance your health, mindset, or life around shift work and family, I’ve got you. You don’t have to figure it out alone. And you definitely don’t need permission to start.
Real Talk: It’s Not Easy—But It’s Worth It
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Building something of your own while still working a demanding job is hard. But it’s worth it. Every Friday that I get to wake up and choose me is a reminder that freedom isn’t just a dream—it’s a direction.
And if you’re not quite ready to leap, that’s okay. You can take small steps that build momentum over time. Here are a few ways to start:
Set aside one “non-negotiable” hour each week just for you.
Start journaling your thoughts on what freedom means to you.
Learn about the power of habit stacking to build new routines that serve you. This article by James Clear is a great place to start.
Say “yes” to yourself the way you say yes to everyone else.
Because at the end of the day, nobody knows what you need better than you. You don’t need approval to start eating what you want, to build the business you’ve dreamed about, or to claim space in your own life.
Whether it’s one day a week or full-time, freedom starts when you decide to go after it.
Final Thoughts
If the smell of your lunch is too bold for the breakroom, maybe it’s a sign your dreams are too big for the box you’re in. 😉
Let this be your reminder: you’re allowed to want more. You’re allowed to build something that feels good to you. And you're absolutely allowed to light that damn candle.
Let’s rewrite the rules—one strong, unapologetic woman at a time.
